Sometimes worries and angry feelings can make relaxing difficult. Even if the issues you’re upset about don’t have anything to do with your partner, negative emotions like these can really get in the way of spending quality time with each other.

Whether you’re annoyed about work, money, family, or political issues, it can sometimes be difficult to switch off from these feelings to be able to enjoy the company of your other half. It can be tempting instead to spend your time together constantly turning over the issues at hand, even when the course of action that needs to be taken is clear to you both. The result is often that you finish your couple time even more wound up about the issues than you did beforehand. Quality couple time has become anything but.

We’ve sometimes had this kind of problem ourselves over the years. Now, though, we’ve figured out a way to stop our couple time being wasted in this way: the venting strategy.

How to vent

If one of us is worried or annoyed about something, the rule is that he or she has a set period of time to vent about the issue. The other partner listens, and then the two of us talk – again for a set period of time – about what can be done to address the problem. Once we’ve done that, the topic is out of bounds for further discussion. For the rest of the time we spend together, we make a conscious effort to talk about something else, ideally something positive and uplifting.

This strategy has generally worked well for us. When one of us is annoyed or upset about something, our couple time becomes an opportunity to take a break from the worries for the partner who is upset. Afterwards, he or she generally feels more relaxed and better able to handle whatever it is that is causing the worry. Why not give this strategy a go in your relationship and see how it works for you? Let us know how you get on!